Why people become abusive:

https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/why-do-people-abuse/

Some abusers learned to abuse from their parents. As most likely the child would have witnessed or bee the victim of the abuse in their own home while growing up (one parent abusing the other or their sibling, etc.). As a consequence, abuse is the normal condition of life for these people. This creates a relationship dynamic, namely the complementary roles of “abuser” and “victim”. They are familiar with and fully understand the terror of being the helpless victim from their own childhood experience. The opposite of being a victim is not escaping the abuse; it is instead, to become the abusive one. Given the choice between being the out-of-control victim, or the in-control abuser, some of these people grow up to prdefer the role of the abuser. As they become adults, they simply turn this relationship dynamic around and start acting out the “abuser” side as this to them is only nature and they feel in-control of their life and others around them as when being the victim you do not have that power this gives the person the sense that they only have two choices to either be the victim or to be the abuser. By choosing to be the aggressor and abuser, they may get their first sense of taking control over their own destiny and not being at the mercy of others. That they hurt others in the process may go unregistered or only occur as a dim part of their awareness as they are so wrapped up in their own way of gaining control and the feeling of not being a victim anymore over rides the emotions and reality of them hurting other people. This to me creates a sense of sympathy towards the abuser as they only see abusing others as away of surviving in the world as their other option is to be the victim. This helps me to understand the difficulties abusers may face in trying to do the right thing and how people act around them can have a huge influence on their lives and the decisions they make in the future. This is a common influence for domestic abusers as it is something that creates a sense of normality in what they do as when the child is young they are massively influenced and directed by those around them as they are innocent when young they often see what their parents do as something that should be done by them too and with being a young age they can easily follow in the steps of the adults around them for example when a adult hits another adult the child it likely to pick up on it and will then do the same to one of the adults thinking that they have done something the parents should be proud of as they did it too, as children often try to get attention or response from the adults around them and they can do this by copying their actions.

The other reasons people can become abusers is that they have a mental health issues or disorders can trigger abusive behaviour, For example, someone with anger management issues, a diagnosis of intermittent explosive disorder, or a drinking or drug problem may easily get out of control during arguments (e.g., because there is something wrong with their ability to inhibit themselves at the brain level) and verbally or physically strike out at their partners and dependants due to feeling uncomfortable or on edge this can be something that is hard to change as it is a mental issue that has no cure however unlike being influenced by parents you can have medication to help control your out bursts if it is a mental issue for example anti-depressants an help to reduce the anger and to help keep the balance of emotions within the brain.

The term ‘abuse’ describes a particular type of relationship between two things. An abusive relationship is one where one thing mistreats or misuses another thing. The important words in this definition are “mistreat” and “misuse”; they imply that there is a standard that describes how things should be treated and used, and
that an abuser has violated that standard.

Only human beings are capable of being abusive, because only human beings are capable of understanding how things should be treated in the first place and then violating that standard anyway. Animals in nature, and nature itself may be very violent and destructive at times but in an unconscious, irresponsible sort of way; they cannot act otherwise. Natural violence is not intentional, but all too often, human violence is.